What Is Marriage?
Webster's Dictionary defines it as: "the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law." This would be considered in today's society as a "traditional" marriage. The dictionary also defines marriage as: "the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage." Which is same sex marriage. How ever you view marriage, it is certainly a personal matter.
My Experience
I would like to talk about the traditional marriage. My marriage to my husband has lasted for over 30 years now. I would say that it has stayed strong because of our mutual respect and determination to always try to think of the other spouse before self. It didn't start out that way. I think in every marriage you have dreams and ideas of how you expect things to be and find out that they are not that way. Even if you marry young or later in life, you have to learn how to be together as a couple.
Maybe you have lived together for awhile before you decided marriage was what you wanted. In any relationship you have to learn how to deal with each other. I feel what has worked for my marriage, is learning how to not be selfish and try to always think of the other person's needs before my own. As children came along, this brought new challenges. We had to be careful to always find time for each other and we found that when we could get the young children in bed early, this was an important time in our marriage to be together and reconnect.
This was also a great time to discuss the next day and what events were scheduled and how we could help each other meet our commitments. Of course this wasn't always a reality in my marriage, as my husband had to be out of town a lot selling. In a way this brought us closer together because I really missed him when he was gone. We would talk every night and I would get really excited when I knew he was coming home. When he would arrive home he would want to see the children and just enjoy being home.
When on the other hand I would be tired of the children and would want to go out. We found we could meet in the middle and work it so that we each got our needs meet. I feel that we were both committed to our marriage and would always try to communicate. Once a month or so we could make a list together of what was working in our marriage and what wasn't and then work to improve.
It has been my experience in my marriage that one of the most important things is communication. I have found that when we are communicating, we do not have any secrets, and we know what is on each others minds. We have found that if we state how we feel that our communication is usually understood better.
(We will never share or sell your email)